Testimony of Conversion

I was born in Paraguay, in the bosom of a Christian family, being the son of a pastor. Since I am conscious I have always been in the church, being this my second home. However, being surrounded by Christian activities or sermons is no guarantee of anything in terms of the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit in the salvation of man. Thus, when I reached adolescence I developed more than anything else a strong moralism, trying to reconcile perhaps unconsciously what I knew to be true with the way I lived, thought and felt. 

This moralism generated many uncertainties and insecurities in my life because what I believed was not always consistent with the way I lived. Having to sustain a semblance of piety without truly living it can be a very heavy backpack to carry. Added to all this was the fact that I did not have a solid doctrine in the Word of God regarding salvation and sanctification. I grew up with the understanding that one prayer was enough to become a child of God, but if this was true, that with one prayer I could enjoy new spiritual life, why wasn’t I enjoying it, if I had already prayed, not once, but many times the sinner’s prayer? For a long time I developed an envy for the spiritual joy and growth I saw in other Christians. It seemed that others enjoyed something that I could never experience. This contradiction between what I believed and what I lived generated too many insecurities, to the point that after each period of “surrender” to the Lord with the subsequent departure from my resolutions, doubts about my salvation overwhelmed my heart. My greatest longing was to enjoy peace with and from God, but that simply was not my reality. This lack of confidence in seeing myself as a child of God did not allow me to accept the grace of a God I did not even know was my Father. Trying to secure my salvation, and seeking greater fullness of a Christian life, I went so far as to be baptized twice before my one and only baptism. Being a pastor’s son and having been rebaptized over and over again increased even more the weight of my uncertainty for fear of what the other brothers in the congregation would say, in addition to living a life far from God’s will. True, I never physically walked away from the church, but my heart was deeply distant from the Lord. I was sitting in the pew with my mind set on my entertainment or plans for the week. In addition to this, the habitual consumption of pornography was plunging me deeper and deeper into condemnation and guilt. But this hypocrisy of holding up to others something you are not, sooner or later takes its toll. The sadness, dissatisfaction and loneliness I was experiencing was truly paralyzing. I reached the point of almost resigning myself to consider Christianity as just general bible truths that could not really transform my life. 

In the midst of this life full of ups and downs, doubts and disappointments, I remember talking at that time with my girlfriend, my current wife, and we wondered if the real Christian life was what we were living, because until then we were only nominal Christians. So we began a search, mainly in social networks, for churches or preachers to challenge us and show us what real Christianity was all about, but to no avail. The nausea of living only by appearances had already saturated me and I was about to resign myself. 

Looking for answers to my doubts, I started buying Christian books, reading a little bit of everything, and I came across the book “Chosen by God” by Pastor Sproul, and I took it to my work to read it. One day, a client comes to my business and sees the book on my table and starts talking to me about it. I was very happy with someone who seemed to understand my doubts, and between comments he invites me to visit his church, and I accepted because he had also told me about expository preaching. I had read something about it but I had never heard it myself and I was curious to know more. So I went with my wife and I was personally shocked, I had never heard sermons that were so rich doctrinally and at the same time so Christocentric. That first week that I went I spent meditating on the sermon, something I had never done in the past because I usually attended church and at the end of the services I forgot everything. But this time it was different, the Word of God produced a phenomenal change in the way I began to see life. So many verses that I had read in the past began to come alive for me. A real joy invaded my heart because I had finally found the purpose and direction I had longed for. The Bible was no longer an empty or merely informative source of reference, it was now truly the balm that my aching soul so desperately needed. In this process it was fundamental the accompaniment of the brothers who encouraged the communion and in talks after the sermons they were clarifying the doubts that were burdening my heart. 

I realized that my understanding of the gospel was so basic, to the point of considering it in the past almost only as a ticket to salvation and not as a path to growth in sanctification. Coming to this understanding really healed many wounds and faults in my soul, because I no longer had to struggle alone, trying to resist in the Christian life, for now I understood that Christ had already accomplished everything for me, for on the cross He not only paid for my sins but also imputed His blessed righteousness to me. Christ’s double imputation healed so many insecurities about my salvation. I no longer had to earn God’s favor by my works but was now loved and accepted before the Father by the work of Christ. This brought a healing to my soul that I cannot describe.

Call to Ministry

Faced with so many deep and wonderful truths of the gospel, I said to myself: “I must share this with the brethren of my local congregation”, and so we began to study about the attributes of God, what the gospel consisted of and the doctrines of grace. All this was pushing me in a very strong way to the desire of wanting to preach the gospel and lead the people of God through the pastorate. The years passed and after 4 years of presenting my pastoral desires to the congregation I was officially appointed as pastor. Today, looking back, I see how the Lord really transformed my life, gave me new purposes, healed wounds and brought direction to my existence, only because of his gospel. I believe that understanding the gospel is vital in order to pass from death to life, and that is why today I preach, teach and desire to invest my life instructing others about God’s love, his righteousness, our sin and the salvation we find only in Christ. Only the gospel of Jesus Christ can give true life, true direction, and true purpose to man. Turning to the Lord in repentance and faith, glorifying the Lord in all areas of our life for the glory of His name, is the message I preach and want to continue preaching as long as I have strength left. The gospel changes everything, it changed me, and that is why I want to be an instrument in God’s hands for the transformation of the lives of many people so that they can also enjoy the salvation and real sanctification that can only be found in Christ.