I was brought up in all the outward duties of religion. My grandfather was a Major in Salvation Army in the same town where we lived, and we were forced to participate in all church activities including being confirmed as members. My mother took care to provide me with books of instruction, but this shadow of goodness soon passed away and I gave into all worldly pleasure. Casting aside the form of godliness instead of the church, in all my affairs I sought after my own happiness. I prided in my abilities, but it pleased Him to deny me rest in anything. Yet still I would not come to Him in whom the only true rest is found.
When I joined high school, I continued in my ways that seemed good to me. But the Lord arrested my heart. It was during my second year that I felt convicted of my sins. I remember crying and asking my brother, who was a Christian, what I should do? I was in need of a Savior.
He read to me the Scriptures and helped me to see that if I call to Him, He will indeed not turn me away. That evening I sought the Lord, I cried to him to have mercy on me a sinner, I asked for forgiveness of my sins and for sure my burden was lifted. I was clothed in His righteousness that day, my sins were covered. I certainly could say that Christ is my Savior.
My desires changed, my passions changed. There is nothing that I find more thrilling than walking in the ways of God. I abhor wickedness, though indwelling sin is still with me. I don’t desire sin anymore. I live a life of repentance and keep on believing in Him who shed his blood for me. My prayer has always been, ‘Help me hold fast to that which I have attained, to forget the things behind me and press on toward the mark of Your high calling which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’
When I joined graduate school, the Lord was pleased to bring a discipleship organization that enabled me to grow in the faith and develop Christian disciplines. It is here that I learnt to do continuous Bible reading, book by book, and for the first time I read the entire Bible by myself. I have continued with this discipline even now while in my marriage. I began doing my devotions consistently and taking notes, a habit that continues until today. I got baptized while doing the discipleship program, after a pastor from a local church helped us see the need of obeying Christ in this command of baptism. I keep trusting that the Lord will help me know Him more and grow in Him more.