The Lord has done His perfect work in my life. My mom always took us to church from the time we were little. I always tried to behave really well in the services and participated in all the different activities like camps, evangelism, Vacation Bible Schools, etc. Often, my siblings and I were the the ones to win awards in the classes for being ‘good Christians.’ That’s how I spent my childhood and teenage years.
I always heard about repentance and salvation, and on many occasions I had stood up at the end of a sermon, along with the others, to pray that God would forgive us for our sins. I did it because it was what everyone in church did.
But it wasn’t until about six or seven years ago that I experienced real brokenness for my sin for the first time. I don’t remember what exactly the circumstances were, but I do remember the moment in which I bowed my knees before God feeling that I was the worst sinner with the greatest need for a good and powerful God to forgive me. I knew that I needed God to love me despite the filth of my actions and the corruption of my heart.
To explain what happened that day can be difficult, because it’s hard to communicate with words the way that God worked in my heart. Having seen my sinfulness and having cried out to God for forgiveness I felt a great peace and joy in His presence, and I had confidence that I had been made one of His children through Jesus.
Since then, I have had both struggles and victories, sorrows and joys. I still mourn over my character at times and the reactions that I have in certain situations. I still grieve my sin and the way that it hurts others. But I’m confident as well that the One who has begun the good work in me will continue to perfect it until He presents me blameless. That is what gives me encouragement and new strength even in times of struggle and affliction.